A few weeks ago, New York investment bank Goldman Sachs Group Inc.
made the news for instructing employees to stop using profanity in
e-mails and text messages. This led to an article in the Globe and Mail about profanity in the workplace in general. The gist? You probably shouldn’t use it. That makes sense.
A lot of people, myself included, would argue or have argued that
people are far too uptight about the use of foul language. But the truth
is that swearing in the workplace or in any social situation that may
be a networking opportunity (so, MOST of them) isn’t going to do you any
favours. A dirty mouth might not necessarily diminish your worth in
another’s eyes, depending on the individual, but it might. And it’s very
unlikely to elevate you (possible exceptions: Def Jam record label
parties; brothels; Yahoo!). So, why take the chance? I say this as someone who has a mouth like a gangsta rapper.
Like any other habit, swearing can be hard to stop. So, how can we break the habit?…
James O’Connor, founder of the Cuss Control Academy gave
me some tips. He started the “Academy” because he had a swearing
problem himself. He hasn’t wiped it out completely but now he does it
less, and he gives me the following tips for taming your tongue.
1. Recognize that swearing does damage: Most
people think, “It’s just words. What’s the big deal?” They don’t
recognize that it does offend people, other people judge you, and it
reflects a lack of civility and manners. Also, it’s associated with
negativity. Sure, it can be just for fun but it’s also associated with
complaining, criticizing and name calling.
2. Think Positively: If you eliminate negative thoughts you will swear less.
3. Use alternative words: You can come up with
an expletive to replace an expletive. But you can’t come up with just
one word to substitute for all the many, many applications of certain
words, like the “F” word, which is a noun, verb adjective etc. That’s
one reason people use that word and the “SH” word so frequently. Both
are extremely versatile. It’s simply lazy language. Use a different
You can find more tips here.
And, while we’re on the subject, another big problem? The use of
“like” and “you know” being used all the freaking time in common
parlance. It’s getting OUT OF CONTROL.
You do yourself an immense disservice when you do this. Yes, I do it
too. But not nearly as much as most people. And I know it tends to be
associated with younger people, but I also hear people in their 40s and
50s doing it. If you can, I suggest you stop.
Not everyone agrees with me. You can read more about the pro-”like” lobby here.
But if you choose to eradicate it from your vocabulary – when not
referring to similarity or appreciation, of course — here are a few more
- Be aware: Liz Holland of the Toronto-based
- you have to be aware that you’re doing it. This is so true. I often
- point it out to friends and they apparently have NO IDEA. Holland
- suggests video taping yourself and getting friends to point it out to
- you. And DON’T get defensive or deny it. “You have to let people bring
- it up,” she says.
2. Find something else to do and condition yourself to do it. James Claiborn, a psychologist and author of The Habit Change Workbook: How to Break Bad Habits and Form Good Ones,
suggests finding something else to do instead: “We call that a
competing response. It has to be something that you can do in whatever
situation you’re in when engaging in the problem behaviour, it needs to
be something that is incompatible with the problem behaviour, so you
can’t do both at the same time. Suppose, when you catch yourself about
to say it, you gently bite your lip or do something with your mouth that
is incompatible with talking.”
3. Breathe. Jay Miller,
a Toronto speech coach says, “Most people, when they use filler words
should instead be taking a breath and learning to be comfortable with
that silent in breath instead of the filler word. Most people aren’t
breathing enough when they speak.”
Eradicate swearing and filler words from your vocabulary and you’ll
be more articulate and sound smarter, and probably, as a result be more
successful. At least that’s, like, my #%&*% theory.