10 people to ditch before they drag you down
Success means different things to different people, but whatever your end goal, the people with whom you choose to surround yourself will have a big impact on whether or not you achieve it.
Here are 10 who are holding you down. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship.
The envier. Yes, “envier” is a word. I looked it up. This is the person who wants what you have – your charm, your wit, your success, your intelligence, your job, your partner, whatever – and because they don’t think they have it they don’t want you to have it either.
The unfriendly competitor. I know a woman who creates competitive relationships with people in her head and makes everything into a game of one-upmanship. The only problem? She’s the only one who knows we’re playing. Probably needless to say but this person is not happy when you succeed. I walked away from that game.
The underminer. You know that “friend” who somehow manages to take the wind out of your sails every time? Like that time I was wearing a blue jumpsuit and when I showed up to meet my friend he quipped, “Oh, look! An orderly escaped from the hospital! Ha. Just kidding. You look very nice.” I haven’t been able to wear that jumpsuit since without feeling like I look like hospital staff (not that there’s anything wrong with looking like hospital staff but even they change clothes before a dinner party). Often this person hides behind the defense that they’re “just being honest.” Bull. The underminer isn’t happy and doesn’t want you to be happy.
The leech. The leech sticks to you and tries to suck whatever they can out of the relationship (uh, you know, like a leech). I used to have a leech who I was always helping get work, but who never returned the favour. This person even tried to talk someone I introduced them to into hiring them instead of me for a job I was already in talks for. Leeches are common enough. Pour salt on them.
The doomsayer. The doomsayer is the opposite of the cheerleader. Nothing you do is going to work and everything is going to go wrong. Why try? The doomsayer kills ideas.
The bad drunk. You know those people who always get falling down smashed at parties and ruin everything for everyone else? They’re embarrassing, AND they’re instigators, so everyone’s drunk by 8 pm at the dinner party. And how many damn times have you all woken up on the floor with a raging hangover, wondering where your pants are and if a cat pooped in your mouth?
The self-saboteur. They’re often the drunks, sometimes the heavy drug users. Or they have anger issues and can’t keep a job or a relationship together. I’m not suggesting you don’t try to help your friends in need (so maybe don’t necessarily dump this one), but don’t become collateral damage in their path of self-destruction.
The gossip. I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t stop talking about people behind their backs until my thirties, and sometimes still catch myself. Some say that gossip is the root of all evil and I am inclined to agree. If someone is talking about someone else, don’t think they won’t do the same to you. Also, don’t they have better things to talk about?
The backstabber. A relative of the gossip, but an even more mean-spirited version. The backstabber is nice to your face and rips you apart the minute your back is turned. Again, you’ll know they’re doing this to you by the fact that they do it to others.
The dead weight. The dead weight might piggyback on your accomplishments but they never contribute anything. They make messes and don’t clean them up. They’re always happy to hang around in case someone else’s benefit rubs off. Cut the rope and let them fall. Your climb will be easier.