Nine really weird jobs
Looking for a new career, but want something different? Check out these nine really strange jobs. Maybe one of them is for you, and if not, at least they prove that people will pay someone to do pretty much anything.
Snake milker: A snake milker might be employed by a zoo or a serpentarium to remove the venom from poisonous snakes — such as sea snakes, vipers, rattlesnakes, cobras, and copperheads — so it can be used by hospitals and laboratories to make antivenom. No, snakes don’t have nipples. You milk the venom out of their teeth. And thank goodness this exists, because when people get bitten by snakes this is what saves their lives.
Mermaid: Professional mermaids put on three shows a day, seven days a week, wearing a 15 lb tail, at Weeki Wachee Springs State Park in Florida. “If you’re not one who really likes cold water, it can be pretty miserable,” mermaid Staycy McConnell told Bloomberg. “Especially when you’re down there 30 to 45 minutes at a time.” Maybe not as dangerous as snake milker but still not for everyone.
Lap surrogate: Now we’re talking. In 2013 someone posted a Craigslist ad looking for an employee to sit next to them as they worked from home and let their cat sit on the employee’s lap. The ad said: “This is a morning shift from 8am-12pm at $15/hr. I do not need anyone in the afternoon since the sun warms the window sill by that point, and the cat will prefer the window sill to a lap. Breakfast and lunch will be provided each day.” Not a bad gig, maybe, but what if your foot falls asleep?
Professional snuggler: Like the cat thing, but with people. The Snuggle Buddies offer this service. “Whether you want to cuddle for friendship, relaxation, or therapeutic reasons, we would be happy to be your snuggle partner. Many people do not get the amount of human touch they want or need on a daily basis, and a professional snuggling service is the solution.” (No, it’s not code for anything sex related. Clients are required to sign a contract stating this.) There are a lot of lonely people out there, which is sad, and also an opportunity to make some money, apparently.
Water sommelier: Martin Riese, who works for Patina Group of Restaurants, is probably the only water sommelier in North America. It’s just like a wine sommelier, but for H20. Riese says water, like wine, is affected by terroir. “All waters have unique tastes, and a lot of Americans think water is just water, but I completely don’t believe in that,” he told the LA Times. “Water has so many interesting nuances.”
Apologizer: In Japan there are people who will apologize for you if you don’t want to do it yourself. According to Rocket News 24, there are a few agencies offering this service, including Shazaiya Aiga Pro (25,000 yen [US$240] for face-to-face apology and 10,000 yen [$96] for email or phone apology) and Yokohama Benriya Natchan, which offers “apologies while crying.”
Bicycle taxidermist: This guy will provide the engraved plaque for parts of your old, beloved bike, to mount as one might a deer head. “A somewhat sentimental take on a mass produced object becoming defunct, the handlebars are given the care and craft of a preserved family pet(!) The bikes have now been re-appropriated as a family heirloom.”
Bridesmaid for hire: For the most part, this sounds weirder than it actually is. It’s really just hiring help for the events leading up to your wedding (for those who do pre wedding “events”), except for the “Bridesmaid by Your Side,” package, which includes event help plus, “actual participation as a bridesmaid or maid-of-honor in the wedding party.” So, if you haven’t got any girlfriends, or they’re all far away, I suppose.
Bed warmer: I don’t know if this is still a thing but in 2010 Holiday Inn announced that it would begin offering human bed warming services at locations in the UK. If requested, a staff member would dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit and get in bed to warm it for you. “The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,” Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall told Reuters.