If only all job postings were this honest. There’s no corporate double-speak or sugar coating it here.

In telling-it-like-it-is news, a restaurant owner in Scotland has posted the world’s most brutally honest job posting ever. The job ad was titled: Looking for someone fast, progressive, and not a total **** for a new restaurant in Clarkston.

The pay isn’t great. In fact, in the ad the owner writes: “The money is sh*t. It’s 7 pounds an hour and a cut of the tips. Don’t ask for more because I don’t have it. You’ll literally be making more than me because I am essentially working for free until the place is paid off.”

But hey, at least you’ll get to work with a great team, right? Not so much: “If you think I sound like an obnoxious d***head, congratulations. You are observant and will go far in life. Don’t let it discourage you, though. I’m only a d***head for the first three years you know me.”

Sign me up! How do I apply?

    “Send me a real cover letter, if you’re the cover letter type. If you have one that says you’re a “hard-working team player that can also function well alone” and that you “value customer service and punctuality” I will stab myself in the face with a pencil and nobody will get a job. Be honest. Tell me what you want to do and why. Your actual strengths and weaknesses. I’m looking for real people with real ideas, not kids using a CV template they found online.”

So, if you’re inclined to write an original resume and cover letter detailing your strengths, weaknesses, and ideas for a job that pays sh*t for a d***head boss, great news! You can read the full job description here.

It’s actually kind of refreshing in its frank honesty about the job. Hey, if you can’t take the heat…

See also:

The biggest mistake in a cover letter
The worst resume ever
The biggest mistake at a job interview

Peter Harris

Peter Harris on Twitter